08: A Chemical Experiment

Official Description: Mr. Davenport asks a favor of Iris Vos. Mark does some investigation. And Chris tells Melody about alchemy.

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[BRIEF BURST OF MUSIC—TWANGY GUITAR, THEN TAPE DISTORTION.]

Alright...

[TAPE BEING PUT INTO TAPE PLAYER. TAPE BEGINS TO PLAY.]

[SILVERWARE AMBIENCE.]

Does this have to be taped?

[LAUGHS.] Oh, Ms. Vos, we want everything to be recorded. It’s really so much easier that way. [PAUSE.] Just think of it as a little eccentricity. A condition of the whole “me being here”. Don’t worry about it, Iris—can I call you Iris? I’m gonna to call you Iris. It’s just a formality. By the way, do you know what’s good here? Never been, bit outside my paygrade.

[SLIGHT SCOFF.] Try the veal.

You know what? I think I will. Garçon? Garçon? [PRONOUNCES IT AS “GARSIN”.] Could I get the veal osso buco? [SEEMS TO TAKE GREAT JOY IN THE MISPRONUNCIATION.] Should I get two?

Fennel salad. No vinaigrette.

Alrighty, one veal osso buco and one fennel salad.

Of course, sir.

[FOOTSTEPS WALKING AWAY. BEAT.]

Mr. Davenport—

It’s alright, Iris, I know this must have been a really tough couple of days. Let me just give you a rundown of what we’re looking at from my perspective, okay? Then just ask me any questions you’d like. Does that sound good, Iris?

[ICILY] Of course, Mr. Davenport.

Before anything else, I just want you to know how sorry I am about what’s happened to your face. You have my deepest sympathies.

[PAUSE. IRIS DOESN’T REACT.]

So, first off, you’ve got a pile of rubble on your hands. Which you’re doing a great job of clearing up, by the way. Really inconspicuous, all things considered.

We try.

You’re professionals. I like that, I relate to that. Now, second, you have, um… how should I put this… an absence? You had hundreds of tenants and a lovely apartment building, and now… it’s as if they had never existed. Gone from our memories. Which would just be the weirdest thing in the world, wouldn’t it? And I’m sure you’d just be running like chickens with your heads cut off if you didn’t have at least some experience with these sorts of breaks from our shared reality?

[A PAUSE. IRIS SCOFFS AGAIN.]

It’s alright, it really is, you don’t have to respond. I’m just.. laying out my cards on the table. Now, if this was all you had, you’d probably be fine. Just clear some rubble, build something new on your piece of Lower Manhattan real estate, and go about your business. But. The third thing you have is exactly thirty-four—

[IRIS INHALES SHARPLY.]

—exactly thirty-four dead bodies in a climate controlled warehouse in Queens. And, once again, I really do admire your guys’ professionalism in getting them all out of there, really top notch job.

[SHAKEN.] This is—

Just let me finish, I really don’t like it when people interrupt me. Sorry, it’s a pet peeve of mine. Now. this all leads me to the final thing in your possession, which is a couple shelves worth of Ampex cassette tapes. You have those, don’t you?

[PAUSE.]

[DERISIVE CHUCKLE.] The logistics of a company our size can be byzantine. Perhaps one of our employees has come across what you’ve described, perhaps not. I couldn’t hope to guess.

Alright, Iris, I’m coming to you from a place of respect, as a fellow professional. Iris, we know you have the tapes, we know. You got them out of there before we could get our people on site, which, once again, great job on that. You’re keeping them in that same Queens warehouse. We know that. We even know about the “uncomfortable” dreams your warehouse workers have been complaining about. Iris, once again, I’m just going to talk straight with ya. [COLDLY.] We want those goddamn tapes.

If we were in possession of what you described, why would we want to share the objects with you?

Well, Iris, it goes back to those thirty-four bodies. It’s a tricky situation, having just a bunch of bodies no one remembers existing.

Now, I’m just going to guesstimate that there have been a couple of board meetings around some really nice mahogany desks about how you could dress them up like they were homeless, ship them to some different cities, just leave them on the streets. People die all the time. Or just.. dumping them in the ocean. Some weights, strong enough current, you can be pretty sure they won’t wash up on a beach somewhere. Maybe you were thinking of just bribing a crematorium. That’s what I’d do.

But all this was predicated on the idea that no one was, well, paying attention to your very special apartment building. If someone, for example, had pictures of people loading bodies into an unmarked van or even knew the exact warehouse you were keeping the corpses in, why, you might be having to explain why a multinational construction and real estate firm has in its possession thirty-four chilled corpses. And if you’re wondering if we can link you to the warehouse—I’m just going to spoil it for you, we can totally do that! You guys were just a little bit hasty in your whole.. cleanup.. process.

[PAUSE.]

Oh, Iris, you’re worried about the recorder. [CHUCKLES.] Iris, hundreds of people were edited out of humanity’s collective memory. This isn’t Columbo, I’m not going to play this tape in court. And with what’s happened to you, that should be the last thing on your mind. I’m really admiring your stoicism in the face of adversity, by the way.

[IRIS STARTS TO LAUGH.]

Iris, are you alright? I know these—

Are you aware of how much energy we put into that building, Liam?

Probably a lot!

Yes, Mr. Davenport, probably a lot. Bargains were made, Mr. Davenport. We operated in good faith. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement. We assumed that it would continue indefinitely.

Well, Iris, you know what they say happens when you assume.

[SIGHS.] To sum it up, we invested a large amount of resources into that building. Human capital, as it were. It will be difficult to go to the company, to go to my family, and tell them to write this off as a loss.

I completely understand, Iris. Let me help you see things from my perspective. I’m thinking that you don’t want to spend the rest of your life in an American prison! And I’m thinking that Lars, Lotte, Finn, and Isa don’t want to either. Now, you probably don’t think this is something that we can do. Let me be abundantly clear: that is something we can do!

Your family operates under the assumption that it’s the only organization that knows anything about the loophole within our reality. That is a faulty assumption.

But alright, jail doesn’t scare you. With what you’ve been through, I can’t imagine anything would scare you. The other way to look at this is from a moral angle. From a philanthropic angle. If you gave us the tapes, you would be helping a group of concerned citizens understand the nature of our world, and helping them come up with ways to protect all of us against the sometimes incoherent cruelty of that world. Now, isn’t that important?

[PAUSE.]

Mr. Davenport, was the woman who created those tapes aware she was working for you?

[LAUGHS.] Of course not!

She simply thought she was doing some archival project?

Yeah, she’s just a social worker, liked talking to people. You know, at a certain point, the archives themselves don’t even matter. We pick people who will see a project through. Who need to finish the story.

[PAUSE.]

So, Iris, whatcha thinking?

[PAUSE. IRIS TAKES A BREATH.]

Mr. Davenport, you have convinced me. [TAPE SUDDENLY DISTORTS.] Your organization will have its tapes in exchange for a promise of silence. [WARPING STOPS.] Our lawyers will draw something up. I wish you the best of luck. I can only imagine you putting this power to good use.

Wonderful, Iris! I knew we could work something out. See? Professionals. We’re on the same page. Also, I really hate to ask, but is there any chance we could have the corpses as well? Pretty please?

[RESENTFUL.] If you feel that would be best.

I really do. I’ll work it out with your people. Now, our lunch should be arriving, and I, for one, am very excited to try it. Osso busco, yum. I’ll just turn this off. [TAPE FUMBLING.]

[TAPE ENDS.]

[DAN SIGHS.]

[SQUEAKS.]

[ALMOST GROWLING.] Quiet! [PAUSE. THEN, SOFTLY] I’m sorry, I-I just need to think.

[HE TAKES A DEEP BREATH, TAKES OUT HIS PHONE, AND DIALS. THE IPHONE RINGS.] Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up…

[THE PHONE IS PICKED UP.]

Mark here.

Mark! Hi!

Hey, Dan, what’s up? Nice to hear from you again. [EXCITED] Did you finally break up with Tanya?

What? No, I—what makes you say that?

Oh, she’s just been posting so many subtweets. Lots of, like, melancholy, kind of mainstream folk music. Starbucks stuff. Anyway, do I finally get to talk shit about Tanya? Because I really, really wanna talk about her terrible taste in books. Like, she prefers Harry Potter to Wizard of Earthsea—

[TALKING OVER HIM] Mark. Mark. I don’t want to talk about Tanya right now.

Oh, sorry. I-I’ll shut up now.

No, no, I-I do want to catch up. Remember—remember a while back when I asked you to research that.. band I’d heard about? And—

Was this when I worked for that old college radio station? Because I don’t—

No no, uh, later, not too long ago at all? You didn’t find anything concrete, they were really difficult to find out anything about? But I had you try because you’re kind of a journalist?

Um… [REALIZES.] Oh. Oh. Yeah, okay, uh, you want me to try and find more info on them?

It’s really important.

[SIGHS.] This’ll be tricky. If I couldn’t find anything on them last time, I-I don’t know how this will be any different.

[DESPERATE.] Please try. I—I’d really like you to try.

Yeah, I-I can do that. [CONCERNED.] Dan, how are you doing? I-if you’d like me to get some friends together and come visit, I cou—I could do that. If you’d like.

No. I-I’m looking forward to this job ending. But I need to complete this.

Alright. I’ll… I’ll try and find you that info, okay?

[QUIETLY.] Thanks Mark.

[PHONE IS HUNG UP. DAN SIGHS AGAIN.]

[UNDER HIS BREATH.] Okay. Okay, we’re almost done.

[HE PUTS A TAPE INTO THE TAPE PLAYER, AND IT BEGINS TO PLAY.]

Melody Pendras, August 19th, 17:23. 8th floor.

[IMMEDIATELY.] Before I tell you anything, you need to say it on the tape.

[SIGHS.] I, Melody Pendras, verify that nothing on this recording will be or can be used in a court of law.

[TALKING OVER HER] And that’s legally cool?

Chris, nothing’s gonna happen to you. I promise I’m not out to get you. But yeah, sure, it’s legally binding.

Okay, ye—cool. Cool cool cool. You know, just had to be sure. [HE’S BEEN SHIFTING RESTLESSLY IN THE BACKGROUND. EVERYTHING HE SAYS, HE SAYS IT FAST. HIS WORDS OFTEN MERGE TOGETHER AS HE STUMBLES OVER THEM.]

I understand, now—

A-and you’re not a cop? You have to—you have to tell me if you’re a cop.

That’s not—[SIGHS] no.

And no last names.

Chris. I’m not a cop. And no names! I’ll just call you Chris and leave it at that.

Could you call me… Xavier or something? There’s—there’s this comic book I’m writing about a demon-killing badass, and I’m naming him Xavier Katana, so could you call me Xavier?

How about I just call you Chris. It’s easier for me to remember.

[MUTTERING] Yeah, th-that’s fine, I guess.

Thank you. [SETTLING NOISES.] Alright, Chris, how long have you lived in the Visser building?

A couple months, maybe a year?

Can you tell me a little bit about why you moved here?

[CHUCKLES.] Yeah. So, I was dancing at Sound Factory Bar, Louie Vega was DJing, so it was really intense, and partying with the usual crew. And then this dude comes up to me, and he’s like 6’4, looks like a Viking, dancing like a maniac—it’s Frank, but I don’t know him yet—anyway, Frank gives me a tablet of something, I take it, and I go out of my mind. It’s just [MAKES EXPLOSION SOUND], like the whole world is telling me its story and the story is awesome! And it’s great, your whole body’s feelin’ it, you’re tuned in, it’s listening—

[TAKES A BREATH] So I grab Greg, Tony, Jeanette, and I think—I think Jill was in the bathroom with some dude, but [CHUCKLES] she comes eventually, I grab them and we’re like “we totally need more of that stuff and my friends need to try it”. And he says he doesn’t have a lot more, but we kind of hit it off and in the end we all get to try it.

Then we spent three days just [MAKES EXPLOSION SOUND], just deeply spiritual, just—with Frank—and it’s—once we’re coming down, we’re hanging out at Frank’s apartment, and we’re all there, and we’re at Visser ‘cause—for some reason it felt right, and we just want more of whatever Frank’s been giving us.

Sorry, what’s the name of the drug?

Doesn’t really have a name, you know, I mean, it feels weird to put into words. We—we just call it it. It—we all know what we’re talking about. But yeah, Frank tells us he’s all out and that we should get some more. And then he tells us that he doesn’t buy it, he makes it? So at this point, we all—we’d all hit it off, we felt like the, uh, the Jesus buddies. Like, uh, his friends who got to see his superpowers.

The disciples?

Yeah yeah yeah yeah, the disciples. [HE MISPRONOUNCES IT AS “DISSY-PULLS”.] So we all said at the same time, “LET’S HELP YOU MAKE THIS!!” and Frank was like “I was just about to say that!” So we did, and it turns out Frank is this alchemist, and he’d been trying to craft this drug in his apartment after he got this big [MAKES EXPLOSION SOUND].

Epiphany?

Yeah yeah yeah, epiphany. Anyway, he’d been perfecting the formula, lots of different super-secret compounds and this super intense process, so much work, so he was glad for the help. Yeah, and we, uh, we all started crashing, and I’ve been living at the Visser ever since.

Can you characterize your time here? What’s it been like?

Okay, [SIGHS] so… until three weeks ago, it had been great. We were dedicated, you know, just perfecting this drug, getting really really high. I haven’t had anything else like it since I got here. Which for me is super different. But it feels good ‘cause the stuff was just so much more profound than anything else. You felt connected to the narrative of the world, and just— [HE MAKES A DISSATISFIED NOISE AND COUGHS, SHIFTING.]

Are you alright?

Yeah, I’ll—I’ll—I’ll be fine. I’ve just got—I’ve just—I’ve just gotta last the next few weeks, and it’s not—it’s not like I’m addicted or anything. It’s just… imagine if you were a blind person, and someone.. restored your sight for a few months and then just took it away. I’m just—I’m not looking forward to it.

I’m sorry, Chris.

It’s—it’s okay. Just, things were really great! They were—there was stupid drama, mostly because Jill falls in love with everyone, but yeah, overall, we were just super dedicated. Listening to music, experimenting, getting high. It was… it was really fun and… [SADLY] spiritual.

And then what happened?

Jeanette’s parents, who kinda had been supporting all of us, cut her off. But Frank wanted to keep going. Like, we had just made enough for us and some of our friends. It was just about perfecting the ratios and unlocking its true potential. But Frank was talking about expanding, maybe bringing in some customers. Just.. a little, you know, nothing major. Like, boutique! We’d been reaching out to some interested people, and then...

[PAUSE. YOU CAN HEAR CHRIS MOVING AROUND STILL.]

Take your time.

And then Samuel shows up with his little asswipe, Jacob. And then says [OBNOXIOUS SAMUEL IMPRESSION] that our shared story is grand enough to include tangents and footnotes. [DROPS IMPRESSION.] God, I had no idea what he was saying. He kept bringing up this “Epic of Biglamesh” or something.

Gilgamesh?

Yeah yeah yeah. Super pretentious. Like, dude probably jerks off to himself in a mirror. Yeah, we’d been hearing stuff about Samuel’s group, but we didn’t really take it too seriously. So Frank tells Samuel to fuck off. And Samuel smiles and.. says this building isn’t meant to be scavenged.

Do you know what Samuel meant by that?

Okay, so, this… is difficult to explain to someone who hasn’t tried it, but the drug, some of it’s made from this paint that we find in the building. It’s this old paint from the fifties, and it’s got some of its own properties. It—it isn’t used anymore, but we’re around 90% sure it’s safe, and. [A PAUSE. HE LAUGHS.] You don’t seem surprised.

[WEARILY.] No. I’m not surprised.

Alright. Well. We go ahead with our plan because fuck that prick, and everything’s going good, we line up a few clients, and then, just as Frank gets ready to start distribution… You—you know what happened.

I’d like to hear it in your words.

[FURIOUSLY, BUILDING IN INTENSITY.] He jumped off the building, okay? And I know, whatever, we hid all the stuff before the police showed up and they chalked it up to another druggie doing something stupid because cops are assholes. [YELLING, PACING.] But the way his limbs fell, it was pointed at us—at us! At—at our rooms! Th-there’s no way that’s just an accident! And everyone knows it! Jill, Tony, [TAPE WARPS] everybody, but they won’t say anything, they’re just making plans to move. And the rest of the building knows it too!

Nobody will do shit. I don’t even care if you send this tape to the cops, I just—I’m just telling you because you’re the one person that seems to give a shit about… anything that happens in this building. Actually gives a shi—

[CHRIS BEGINS TO CHOKE AND COUGH.]

Gives a…

[HE KEEPS CHOKING, GASPING FOR BREATH.]

Chris, are you alright?

I’m… I’m…

[CHRIS HITS THE GROUND HARD AND VOMITS. YOU CAN HEAR THICK LIQUID DRIPPING ONTO THE FLOOR AS HE CHOKES.]

Oh God— [SHE GETS TO HER FEET.] I’ll call a doctor, stay there. [FOOTSTEPS AND A DOOR CLOSING; SHE’S GONE.]

[CHRIS KEEPS VOMITING. WHATEVER’S COMING OUT OF HIM ALMOST SOUNDS SOLID. INTERNAL ORGANS, MAYBE. BLOOD. HE’S GASPING FOR AIR, AND IT SOUNDS AGONIZING.]

[SLIGHT LAUGHTER.] Hm. Better turn this off.

[THE TAPE FADES AWAY INTO STATIC AND ENDS. DAN TAKES THE TAPE OUT AND FUMBLES FOR HIS PHONE, BREATHING QUICKLY.]

Shit. Shit shit shit. [HE DIALS AND THE PHONE BEGINS TO RING.] Shit. Please.

[THE PHONE RINGS AGAIN AND THEN IS PICKED UP.]

[RELIEVED.] Oh, thank God. Mark.

Hi Dan.

Were you able to find anything new? About the band?

It was difficult. The ”band” is pretty obscure.

But you found something.

Yeah, I had to do a lot of digging. There was a photographer near where the “band” would play. She got pictures for their... first album cover of rubble. Rubble. But. Like I said, there was no record of this “band”.

So the… picture looked like a collapsed building?

Yes it did. And like I said, this was very, very hard to find, alright. I found basically nothing and I consider myself lucky, Dan.

[HALF TO HIMSELF.] Okay. Okay. That’s helpful.

Is it? Because I don’t know anymore, Dan. I care about you, and I’d like to see you again soon, okay?

[BEAT.]

I’m close to something, I can feel it. I need to finish this story. I-I need to free myself of it. Then I’ll see you again. It won’t be long. [PAUSE.] Goodbye Mark.

[DESPERATELY.] Dan, come on—

[DAN HANGS UP THE PHONE, AND HE SIGHS.]

[PAUSE.]

[QUIET AND HEARTBROKEN.] I should have tried to… [SIGHS.] I should have done something. But I didn’t, I… don’t know what else to say. We are… getting close to the end, and I still haven’t heard anything from Dan. But there’s still time. There has to be time. Please let your friends know about this, get the word out, leave a review on iTunes, and if you can, donate to our Patreon page, it really helps us keep the show running. I think people are trying to take it down, and your donations keep it up. If you know anything about what’s happened to Dan, well, you know what to do. Thanks.

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